good for the heart

I think this shall be another short entry as I'm running out of stuff to say... maybe. So for those of you who know me, you've heard the phrases, "monkeys!" and "Oh balls" quite a bit I'm sure. Used in the right situation, it can turn any disappointment into an instant smile don't you think? Don't monkeys make you smile? Doesn't the word 'balls' just have a funny ring to it? No I'm not a homosexual nor a homophobe, but balls is just a funny word. And Monkeys are just funny! So the next time you mess up something, instead of saying " Oh *@!#" , try "OH BALLS!" You'll instantly feel better because balls is a funny word. If balls aren't your thing, how about monkeys? Everyone loves monkeys, and they're just funny! So, instead of "!@#$", try "MONKEYS!" and that should alleviate some of the frustration. Expletives tend to throw off a bad aura, makes you feel more frustrated. You mess up, !@#!, and saying that only makes you more frustrated.
Don't look at me like that, I'm not that weird for my phrases am I? Ok ok, if neither monkeys nor balls floats your boat, think of a funny word. Something that rolls off the tongue easily and make it your own exclamatory phrase. Let's brainstorm some good words: puffbombs! cheesemonkeys! balls! oh wait... ok ok no more of those... muffins! I'm not good at this brainstorming thing; I keep returning to monkeys. Go to nien's blog, there's a monkey on there that will make you happy! Yay! They're good for the heart, those creatures are.
Also good for the heart is exercise. I personally enjoy bike riding. Well, I suppose I only like half of bike riding. The best part about riding a bike is going downhill. The wind through your hair (scratch that, safety first ladies and gentlemen, always wear a helmet), the thrill of keeping out for random people on the street, random cars. Oh and I love turning when going really fast, because then you can imitate those MotoGP racers that lean all the way down to the pavement on their turns. So hardcore. The feeling that your center of gravity changed positions is so awesome. Why am I talking about this? I don't really know. But now that leaves the other half of biking and that is going uphill.
See, riding a bike is all about looking cool right? ... right? So going uphill, you can't be caught doing the cheap way of standing up on the pedals and shifting your weight - plus that applies too much pressure on the pedals .. or something like that. You need to sit, pedal, and look like it's effortless too. But on the inside, you're just thinking, oh dear, when will this hill ever end. I don't know if i can make it to the top without looking tired. Hm.. maybe I'm unfit. No that's not it. I will blame it on the hills being ridiculously unrelenting.
Wouldn't it be cool to have a perpetual downhill ride? Like the infinite staircase you see in optical illusions - the ones that keep going and going. How sick would that be if there was an infinite downhill slope. Imagine the speeds you could pick up going down that thing.... zoom zoom.

Ok, while my imaginary self is cruising down that nfinite hill I shall impart upon you some final thoughts of mine. I was studying a bottle of whiteout today at work. I thought to myself, white-out is so paradoxical:
Item: White-out
Usage: Paint over mistakes
Purpose: Make errors disappear
Actual real-world effect of using white-out: Highlighting the fact that you screwed up
The way I see it, you use white-out for things written in pen. Usually things written in pen are important documents. What if you're turning in an application or something. White-out basically says to the person reading it: Hey, I can't properly fill out a form. Look, I'll make it even more apparent that I screwed up and was too lazy to fill out a new form.
White-out should hide the fact that you made an error, but in reality it only highlights it... and makes the paper bumpy. So from now on, I shall name white-out bottles "paradoxical eraser." Oh oh, and I love how sometimes it's called correction fluid. What's up with that? Putting it on my paper doesn't correct jack - all it does is ... well nothing. Imagine if it did correct things... I bet they'd be banned from test environments....

I'm done