identity

Post-Publish comment: This post is so full of BS... it;s me in full blast dork-mode I suppose, so you can def skip it

Question: "Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? [10 years?]"
An adapted answer: "Celebratin' the 5th anniversary of you askin' me that question."
- Mitch Hedberg

This questions make you go hmmm don't they? I mean, maybe not the next 5 years question, because... in 5 years I'll probably still be in college; graduate school or something... but 10 years? there are just so many possibilities, so many questions you hafta ask yourself...
Ok, so I understand the question is meant to demonstrate resolve of the questioned person; but honestly, even if you did plan 10 years ahead in your life, there's no way that will ever happen exactly as you envision it. It's nice to have a goal in life - I'm not putting down this idea at all. It's just, I find the question ridiculous. What does it matter what I'll be doing in 10 years. I'll be what... close to 30? Probably married.. house or apartment - don't know, kids - don't know, job - i hope so, but what kind, I have no clue.

The question asks where do you see yourself in the next X years? What if you don't? What if I'm smart enough to know that no matter what plans I may have for my future; it is virtually impossible to pinpoint how far along the path to my goal I am x years from now. What actually brought along this train of thought was... do you ever wonder what you're going to be doing in the future? Right now, it seems as though I have no resolve. I have a general direction of where I want to go, but no idea where this is going to take me... (I'm not complaining, not at all, I'm enjoying every moment of it) but... thus far in life we have been led by the hand - given guidelines to what we can do, can't do, should do, shouldn't do. All that we really know of is school life. (maybe there are other demographics reading this, but hey, who am I kidding, only friends are really reading this at this point in time... doubt that will change too, but oh well) It starts in elementary school, your classes are laid out for you. Middle school allowed us some movement between classes, but still, everything was pretty much laid out for us on what classes to take. High school - more freedom, but to no avail really, there are still requirements to meet. College/University life - supposedly even more freedom, but the way I see it, although we get to choose a specialization, beyond that, we still are given a set of directions on where to go. Degree requirements determine the classes we take. sure, you could say we can apply for any class we want, but unfortunately, the time-is-tuition-money doesn't help us. Where was I going with this? I forgot. Do you ever feel like you're just going with the flow, doing what is expected? or rather, following a predetermined path? What happens when we get to the end of that, and we need to find a job. I guess that's where my resolve falters, because, I don't really know what I'm going to be doing. Maybe taking more classes will help solidify where I wish to head, but at this point, if someone were to ask me where I saw myself in 10 years, I'd say, "wherever tomorrow, the day after, and so on will lead me, I won't complain when I'm there; I will just be doing what my choices lead me to do"

I think I just failed the question.


I was gonna talk about gum, but that issue is over with, it's not that deep. And this post seems to be quite deep in BS atm, so I won't ruin the tone.

The internet is a amazing resource isn't it? You can read the news, research for school, read articles, watch porn, etc. But what I absolutely love to think about is (no not porn) how good it is at allowing one to express oneself without inhibition. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "S/He's my real life friend." And there is so much to this simple statement. It implies that s/he is a friend that one knows from personal contact and face-to-face communication. But the funny thing is, it seems to imply that the internet is not real life. But, I suppose there is a great bit of sense in that implication, no?

The internet allows us to hide. It allows us to do as we please without major regard for the consequences - after all, nobody knows who I really am online right? nfinite is just an online persona. I believe that we are more true to our actual self online than offline (I almost said "real life" instead of offline there). People's true personality shines online since they are pretty much free to do as they please. Take MMOG's for example - a character can choose to act however they please - nice, mean, invert, overt, pervert, obnoxious, pleasing, flirtatious, deceitful. The thing is, they feel at ease with acting in such a way.

Whenever I see someone being mean or bullying someone else, I think to myself, I wonder what they are like offline. Are they really like this? I find it extremely unlikely that so many people can be so blatantly mean to others - or maybe I'm naive. It's so easy to change the word "offline" into "real life." But to me, there isn't a difference. Online is real life, what you do here reflects who you are. And oftentimes, who you truly are. Maybe I'm a dork who's more relaxed online than off. I value all the people and friends I have met both online and off. I don't know that any of the people whom I've met online would notice me offline and vice versa. The semi-outgoing nfinite doesn't one bit match the silent kid I am away from the computer.

What prompted this musing? Well, really, just observation of how people act in the games I play. Some people can be straight-up two faced. If I'm nfinite, they may be nice. If I'm under a different alias, they are completely indifferent or outright hostile. I'm not saying this is how everyone is. Genuine people shouldn't be that hard to find/meet. I'm glad to have met so many genuinely nice and caring people.

... as far as I can tell *wink wink*