It looks like I'll be getting to this post before next week after all! There is a lot of text and no pictures; just a warning.
With the new year upon us, I suppose people have or have been reflecting upon the past as well as making their New Year's Resolutions. This post shall be dedicated to my reflections - not so much on my resolutions. Well, let's first talk about my view on resolutions.
How long do you think the average New Year's Resolution lasts? How often does the resolution become the ideal of integrating into one's daily life and schedule? The biggest case in point: "I will exercise more/regularly!" I'm sure there are people who have the motivation, drive, and commitment to follow through with this resolution; but let's be honest, I'm sure the majority of people don't last more than a couple of weeks, maybe a month. I'm not being cynical, just realistic. If you take a look at the attendance at gyms for the first month of the year, I'm absolutely positive that there will be a huge declining slope of number of people working out.
So anyway, on to the purpose of this post - reflections.
Being the break between one of my working terms and a school term, I've had literally zero tasks to complete which therefore left a lot of free time (aka "nothing to dooooooo D:") So naturally, being the profound person that I am *cough*, there were times when deep thinking and cogitation were involved. One such point that I would like to share - because I'm sure many other thoughts occurred that should not be shared - was on the day of Christmas Eve.
I was thinking back on previous Christmases. I don't know why, but I always feel the need to clarify that our family isn't particularly religious, nor any denomination of Christianity, but we consider Christmas a family holiday to spend time together and give presents. Maybe it's because I don't want the religious overtone that "Christmas" might hold. Not because of an aversion to a specific religion, but to provide an isolation from the inherent societal biases of specific religions.
I think I got sidetracked there. Previous Christmases, right. Our family opens presents on the night of xmas eve, so as a kid I would be entirely ecstatic the entire day - from waking up early, to rushing through dinner, and attempting to rush through the obligatory pre-present-opening family pictures. Has Christmas lost some of its charm from childhood? Or have the conditioning over the years lessened the excitement in receiving presents - which is really a shame if this is true as all presents should be cherished. Or has maturity through the years dulled our inner child - apathy? All of these melancholy thoughts passed as I sat and reminisced on the past 24th of December.
The best conclusion I could come up with was none of these. These thoughts were too devoid of color - I needed an explanation that not only made sense, but also would not degrade the intensity of our emotions: the intensity we held as children anticipating surprises that would unravel themselves as we shredded through gift wrapping. I want to know that I still am in touch with that young spirit. In my view, if someone should call me childish, I would take it as a compliment. Maturity is overrated. Innocent joy is magnificent.
I think my problem is that the anticipation of before is different from the anticipation now. The main difference being knowledge of what's to come. Where we once anticipated what surprises would come, I now anticipate with better knowledge of what the presents are. Maybe as children we were more predictable in what we wanted and therefore the gift givers could totally surprise us. But now as we grow older, maybe we filter out what we really want when talking about what we want.
I would really love to get my hands on a D-SLR camera and to play with it. But I know that it is an absurd request for a gift - too pricey and it would be unreasonable to ask it of my parents. I can live without it. Had it have appeared among the Christmas presents, I think it may have restored some of the magic that presents hold. I'm just giving this as an example, I'm sure there are many items - even ones that have no monetary value attached - that would instill the same effect.
The solution? With my personality, there really isn't one - I can't all of a sudden begin to wish/ask for everything I want to play with. But it's nice to know that should something particularly special appear unexpectedly, I could anticipate Christmas as before.
I suppose I just talked in a giant circle this post. An observation of my mindset, a way to justify it, a way to change it, but not actually attempting to change it. Ha, it all comes back to New Year's Resolutions in a way, doesn't it? Still, having a goal - even if improbable - is better than brushing off the issue. So with that, here are my resolutions:
-Post more (ha, ok, the goal will be more than 28 posts this year, which looks like my current record)
-Master a few more songs on the piano (being self-taught, I always end up learning the majority of the song - maybe even the full song, but never able to string all the individually practiced parts together into a "full song")
-Set up a schedule for reading and coursework (I know for sure this will help with my studies, and as classes get harder, I feel this will be necessary. But how far can I go with this? I'm never too great with enforcing my personal schedules. I've done well so far by procrastinating, but I know that this won't hold up in the future. We'll see how far I can go with this resolution)
So the goal of a New Year's Resolution is that it will, in the end, incite some change in lifestyle/personality for the better. That's all we can hope for right? - the best outcome.
Until next time, enjoy life and good luck with your resolutions! May they all reach fruition.
